oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
