Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize