its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
