Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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