I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
