I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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