i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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