$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
