the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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