I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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