i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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