I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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