meet me or not, i'm out of control
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
