New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Two words: blizzard sex
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