Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
