i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
