She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
