you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
