she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
