hell yes lets make some ravioli
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
