dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
