Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
