So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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