Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize