So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
