is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Randomize
