yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
