She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
