i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
