is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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