WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
