You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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