I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
