I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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