I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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