I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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