Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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