After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
