508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
