And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
