I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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