Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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