I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
