Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
