I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
