dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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