i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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