Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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