need another drink. this is the easiest way
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
