It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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