Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
