it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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