I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
