Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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