He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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