I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
