it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
