WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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