I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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