I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I understand Curling. That high.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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