Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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