Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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